A Functional Relationship, What's that?

   Yes, I'm talking about relationships again..but in a different way. Most people have fairly healthy relationships, but not this girl. Like I said in my first post I was in a very unhealthy relationship, for 4 years. It was my first "real" relationship right out of high school so it's the only thing I've really every known relationship wise. I was constantly worrying and wondering "who is he with?", "why isn't he answering me?" "what's he doing?" "Oh, you're sending me to voicemail huh?" Always walking on eggshells because I didn't know if he was going to blow up and tell me he hated me or if he was going to tell me I meant the world to him. His insecurities quickly became mine. Always wondering who he was texting, who that girl was posting on his wall, if was really at home or at the party he had told me his friend's were having, I hated the person I became, the jealous, insecure, dependent girlfriend. He had me in a hold and knew all my weaknesses and insecurities, and played that to his advantage. I had every right to be the jealous girlfriend, he WAS going to parties without me, talking to other girls, even meeting up with them while I waited at home for him. But he had no reason to feel that way about me because I loved him and never wanted him to feel the way I did about myself, because when you love someone you don't want to them to hurt let alone hurt because of something you did or said. 

   I have really been working on not being the typical "my ex was awful to me so every guy is that way" girl, but it's not easy at all. It used to be that if i was "talking" to a guy for a while and he told me he was going out with his friends I'd freak out on the inside "who's he with?" "what is he really doing?" I don't really do that so much anymore. The biggest issue I still have is when we're talking about something serious or something I'm kind of nervous about and I have to wait for a reaction..I'm always worried that I'll get the overreaction I'm used to getting. The "why would you ever think or say that? I can't stand when you do this. Stop texting me, I'm done with you" overreaction..It would get pretty bad..But then a friend of mine reminded me, "Not every guy is (his name). You're just waiting for a typical (his name) reaction." and she was ABSOLUTELY right, I'm always worried it's going to turn into some huge argument. 

When you're in such a dysfunctional relationship for as long as I was it's hard not to fall into old habits but you have to realize not every person is your ex. Not everyone is out there to hurt you or make you feel awful about yourself.